


Goodbye

by GoofyGomez



Series: Clouis/Louisentine OneShots [32]
Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Death, F/M, Fluff sort of?, Tears, telltale games - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2020-11-23 21:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20896118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoofyGomez/pseuds/GoofyGomez
Summary: AU where Lee is with Clem and AJ in the car at the start of season 4. Clem’s introduction to the boarding school is about to get messy.





	1. Chapter 1

“Okay, go again.”

AJ was leaning forward from the backseat, his right hand on Lee’s shoulder as the older man explained a road trip game he used to play. Clementine sat at the driver’s seat, her hands on the ten and two position, following Lee’s previous instructions to keep her eyes on the road.

Lee chuckled and nodded, his eyes on the dashboard, examining the lights displayed there. There wasn’t really an abundance of oil in the apocalypse, but they had managed to find a half-full can in an abandoned gas station. Lee had called it half-empty, but Clementine liked to think positively. The speedometer read 65 miles per hour, the speed limit before all hell broke loose and laws had ceased to exist.

The afternoon sun was setting ahead of them, a beacon of light guiding them west in their quest to find a home. It was a yellowish orange, Clem’s favorite color.

“So, you have to find a license plate from another state; in this case, one that isn’t from West Virginia,” Lee explained for the third time, pointing to a busted car on the side of the road to use as an example. “When you find one, you call out the name of the state you found and you get a point.”

“There aren’t many cars around,” AJ pointed out, squinting as another broken-down car. Unfortunately, it boasted West Virginia’s plate, so he slumped back. “This is boring.”

“It used to be much more fun,” Clem said, her eyes glued to the road. “I remember my dad used to let me win all the time. He thought I didn’t notice, but I didn’t mind.”

Silence fell over the threesome. The engine revved as Clem drove through the countryside, avoiding potholes and bodies alike. At one point, they passed a crawling walker on the right, its arm reaching forward for them. Clem liked those moments where they would sit in silence and just admire the sunset.

Clem’s moment of silence was broken by AJ’s stomach grumbling. She looked to her right and exchanged a look with Lee. He frowned. They hadn’t found food in at least two days, and their rations were getting scarce. Lee reached into the backpack at his feet and produced a small open bag of chips. He shook it gently and they heard its crinkling.

“Here you go, kiddo,” Lee said, reaching over the seat and handing him the bag. “Enjoy.”

AJ looked down at the bag and frowned. “What about you guys?”

Lee and Clem shared another look and smiled. “We’ll find something else soon,” Clem promised. “Dig in.”

They drove on, listening to AJ’s hesitant chewing. Just before Clem lost all hope of keeping her word, she spotted a small side street that seemed to be blocked off by two upturned train cars. She parked right beside a fenced-out entrance with a small bell hanging from a post. A sign over it read “Ring if you’re friendly.”

Lee looked over Clem’s shoulder and examined the area. The train cars had formed a narrow pathway that led to a shack. It looked to be abandoned, but they had learned the hard way not to make those assumptions too fast. He looked to the girl and nodded. “You think we could find something here?”

“Worth a shot,” Clem said, shrugging. She opened the door and stepped out of the car. Lee and AJ followed. She opened the trunk and grabbed a crowbar for herself. Lee had taught her how to swing it with deadly force. She liked the way the weight felt in her hands.

They walked toward the fences. The three of them shared a look as they saw the sign over the bell and silently agreed that ringing it would not be the best idea. Clem led the way in, followed by AJ, Lee holding the rear. The small makeshift hallway was empty, as far as Clementine could tell. Signs of people having lived there littered the place, however: empty sacks of potatoes, a broken-down radio, and at least a dozen pieces of torn clothing.

When they got to the shack, a gurgling noise caught Clem’s attention. A walker had risen to their right, waddling its way to them, its arms outstretched. With a sigh, Clem stepped forward and swung her crowbar. She caught the walker clean on the side of the face with a crack, and the monster fell to the ground, unmoving.

“Nice one,” Lee complimented, kneeling down to search the body. He sighed. “Nothing.”

“Figured,” Clem said. “Let’s keep looking.”

Clem approached the porch of the shack. The door was a deep red with scratches all over it, its peephole covered with tape. Before she had a chance to go in and inspect the house, he heard AJ call for Lee.

“What’s this?” he asked, pointing at a tire hanging from a tree branch.

“That’s a swing,” Lee answered, kneeling down to AJ’s level. “You get in here, and someone pushes you so you go real high.”

“Oh,” AJ said, tilting his head, “like when you pushed Clem when she was little?”

“Exactly, AJ,” Lee said, ruffling the boy’s hair. “Once we clear this place, I’ll push you if you want.”

AJ smiled and nodded. “I’d like that… after we clear the house, of course.”

“Of course.”

Smiling, Clem turned back to the door and tried the handle. Locked. _Of course, _thought Clem, rolling her eyes. She jammed the crowbar in the crack between the door and the frame and pulled to pry it open, much like Lee had taught her. In one swift motion, the door had creaked open.

She called Lee and AJ and the two of them followed her in, looking around. The house consisted of a single room attached to what looked like a ticket booth behind bars. On the right was a table with unwashed dishes and empty jars on it. The walls were plastered with posters, most of which hung lopsided on a single tack, their messages long gone.

To their left, however, they saw two walkers tied to chairs, their hands reaching for the newcomers. It was a woman and a man, or they had been in life. Now, the only difference between them was the length of what little hair they had left on their heads. Their dead, expressionless eyes looked through Clem, Lee, and AJ, seeing only prey to hunt.

At the feet of what Clem assumed had been the man was a small piece of paper and a bottle. The bottle was labeled ‘Poison’. Clem saw a small keychain with two silver keys hanging off the man’s belt, dangling slowly as the walker reached for its target.

“Please leave us alone. This is what we wanted,” read Clementine, frowning.

“Did they give up?” AJ asked.

“I guess so,” Lee said, taking the paper gently from Clem’s hands. “A lot of people can’t handle this world, and they take what they think is the easy way out.”

“Trust me,” Clem said, hugging herself and looking away. “It’s not easy.”

Lee looked down at her with a sad expression, understanding in his eyes. He placed a hand on her shoulder and nodded. She did the same, making an effort not to let the tears fill her eyes. Composing herself, she searched the barred gate, which stood beside yet another locked door. _No way of prying that open, _she thought ruefully. She noticed a small opening in the bars.

“Can’t fit through those anymore,” she commented to Lee, grinning.

“Nope.” He chuckled.

“I could,” AJ offered, raising his hand as if he were in class.

“Hmm, too risky,” Lee said, looking back at the couple. “The keys are a much safer bet.”

“I agree,” Clem said, nodding. “No need to risk your life, buddy.”

She stepped up and produced a hunting knife from her back pocket. She stood behind the walkers and disposed of them, muttering, “Sorry,” as she did. When the job was done, Lee reached over and grabbed the keys off the male walker’s belt loops.

The room attached to the locked door was even smaller than the first. There were empty shelves directly in front of the door, dust covering most of their surface. A lumpy mattress stood in the middle of the room, the covers strewn all over the place. On the other side, a wooden crib stood in a corner.

Clem approached it slowly, her knife shaking in her hand. It was empty, yet that was somehow worse. If her imagination was to be believed, she couldn’t really blame the couple…

“Can we stay here?” AJ asked Clem and Lee, who shared a look. “No one’s here… no one’s ever anywhere. It’s always just monsters.”

“Not a lot of people left, kiddo,” Lee pointed out, crossing his arms.

“That’s sad,” he said. “How many did there use to be?”

“About six billion people,” Lee said, grinning.

“How many is that?”

“A whole lot,” said Clem, “So many.”

Frowning, AJ looked around the room. He seemed to have spotted something, for he ran to the other side of the room by the barred window. She turned to see AJ taking two bullets from the counter, examining them and loading them onto his trusty revolver. By her count, they had been out of ammo for about a week.

“Just a few,” he said out loud.

“Remember what we said?” Clem said, kneeling beside the boy. Lee watched from the sidelines, his arms crossed. “You know this. Always…”

“Always keep the last bullet for myself,” AJ muttered.

“That’s right.” She hated having to remind him of that, yet it was necessary. She never knew when would be the last time she reviewed the rules with him.

“C’mon, let’s keep looking,” Lee suggested. “These people can’t have survived without some food.”

And so they searched, coming up empty-handed. They scoured the room, upturning what little furniture the couple had had. At last, Lee almost cried out in glee, yet he grunted in distaste almost immediately.

“Damn, they’re rotten,” Lee said behind her and she turned. He was holding a moldy-looking jar of beans, fungus growing on the top.

“Fuck,” AJ exclaimed, crossing his arms.

“C’mon, AJ,” Lee said, frowning. “What did I say about swearing?”

“You let Clem swear,” AJ complained, his eyes traveling from Lee to the girl he considered his sister.

Lee looked over his shoulder and to Clem, who shrugged. “That’s because she’s older,” he reasoned, looking back at AJ. “Kids aren’t supposed to swear.”

“I guess…” AJ said dejectedly. Lee dropped the jar on the floor and it rolled over to the bed. “Hey, look!” AJ exclaimed, pointing at the jar.

Beneath it was what looked to be the corner of a trapdoor, hidden below the mattress. Both Clem and Lee kneeled to move it, exposing a wooden door in the floor, its handle rusted from weeks – years, probably – of disrepair. Quickly, Lee leaned in and opened the trapdoor, which cracked softly as something clicked nearby.

Inside a sizeable hole in the ground, dozens of jars, bags, and small containers filled with food were neatly stacked onto one another. Dust didn’t seem to have reached this part of the shack yet, as they were mostly in pristine conditions.

“Oh my god,” Lee said under his breath, his eyes wide. “Jackpot.”

“We could eat for weeks with this stuff,” Clem said, smiling.

Their elation, however, was short-lived. Barely two seconds later, they spotted a small green orb rolling its way from a hiding spot into the middle of the hole. Both Clem and Lee yelled,

“It’s rigged!”

Lee jumped to the side and took AJ and Clem in his arms, landing on the ground with a thud before the grenade went off. A resounding bang filled their ears, ringing softly. Dust particles covered them from head to toe as the threesome got up, coughing.

“You guys okay?” Lee managed to say, examining Clem’s bleeding forehead. Luckily, they were otherwise unscathed.

“We’re fine,” Clem assured him. “We need to get out of here.”

As if on cue, the sounds of walkers erupted all around them, seemingly appearing out of nowhere. They scrambled to their feet and rushed to the door, swinging it open. Lee led the way, Clem and AJ right on his heels. Walkers had started to trickle in, three of which had found their way into the narrow hallway between the two train cars.

“Here!” Clem exclaimed, throwing the crowbar to Lee, who caught it with one hand.

As they ran, Lee disposed of the walkers with ease, swinging back and forth and cracking their skulls. By the time they got to the end and past the fences, at least two dozen walkers had rounded on them from different directions, surrounding the car and the road around them.

Clem rushed to the driver’s side and got in, slamming the door behind her. Lee sat on the front and AJ jumped in the back. More of them had surrounded them, two walkers banging on the windows. The one banging on Clementine’s side managed to smash the glass. Its hand reached into the car, grabbing Clem’s face.

“Clementine!” AJ yelled as Lee reached for his knife and plunged it deep into the walker’s face, killing it. Clem pushed the body off her and shakily turned the car keys. The engine revved as it sparked to life.

“Go!” Lee urged.

She followed the steps he had taught her, removing the brake and putting it in reverse, and then her feet did the rest. With some effort, the car backed up until they skidded to a halt. They had hit a pair of walkers that had made a beeline for the back of the car.

She had barely switched gears when another walker broke through Lee’s window and took hold of his right wrist, holding it in a death grip. He punched the walker in the face, cracked its nose several times until its grip gave way. When he was free, Clementine pressed hard on the accelerator.

They seemed to be out of the woods, yet as fate would have it, they were never that lucky. They had moved a mere twenty feet when three walkers seemed to materialize to their right, launching themselves in front of the car. Clementine swerved to the left, trying to avoid the crash. She drove off the side of the road and into a large ditch, which flipped their car on its head. They landed with a crash, their seatbelts saving them from expulsion from the car.

The world spun around as Clementine made a herculean effort to remove her seatbelt. She landed with a thud on the roof of the car, her vision blurry. She looked around. Outside the back window, she spotted AJ crawling out of the car, a large cut on his left cheek. Lee struggled against a walker that had followed them to the ditch.

As AJ collapsed on the ground outside, Clem reached for him. Her body was numb. She made an effort to remain conscious, but the darkness seemed to be tugging at her. She fought it for as long as she could, long enough to see two pairs of legs rushing to the side of the car. One of the newcomers picked AJ up.

“No,” Clem gasped. The air had been knocked out of her lungs. She could barely breathe. “Don’t take him…” was the last thing she could say before darkness consumed her.

She awoke in a dingy room, lying on a rather comfortable bed. As her eyes adjusted to the new lighting, she looked around. She was in what looked to be a dorm room, possibly in a school. A bunk bed stood opposite the one she was on. To its right, there was a desk and a chair, both clean of debris. Her head was pounding from the pain, but when she tried to get up, something impeded it.

Her left hand was tied to the bedpost with duct tape. Frowning, she removed the tape and sat up on the bed. Her hat was on the bedside table. When she put it on, she noticed she was wearing a bandage around her head.

“Must have been in rough shape,” she muttered to herself. “What is this place?”

She tried the door, but it was locked. _Figures. _She looked around the room, searching for something to help her dire situation. The afternoon sun shone through the boarded-up window, casting shadows on the hardwood floor.

She opened the closet beside the desk and spotted a small toolbox on a top shelf. Using the chair, she reached for it and searched inside. It was mostly filled with colored pencils and art supplies.

“Got it,” she said, producing from the box a palette knife.

Jimmying the door was easy. She wasn’t prepared for what greeted her, however. The hallway beyond the door was empty, its walls covered in scribbles from who she assumed were the students that lived here. Outside, someone was yelling at the top of their lungs, small voices trailing after it. She strained her ears and realized it wasn’t just anyone yelling.

“AJ!” she exclaimed, breaking into a run through the halls, searching for an exit.

She found one fairly quickly, bursting through the double doors into a courtyard. It was circular, with about four tables littering most of it and a flagpole in the middle of it, sporting a crude hand-made flag.

“Where is he?” AJ was yelling, aiming his gun at a boy with bright blond hair stylized into a mullet. Two other kids stood by the blond boy, whom Clem assumed was their leader. They pleaded with AJ, their hands raised.

“AJ!” she yelled over his voice, cutting him off. “What’s going on?”

“Clem!” the boy said, lowering the gun and rushing to her. He wrapped his arms around her legs, and she hugged him back. “You’re okay.”

She kneeled to his side and examined him closely. Other than a small cut on his cheek, probably from the crash, he seemed unscathed. “No bites?”

“No bites.”

“What the hell is going on?” she heard the blond boy say in a commanding voice. He wore a school jacket with a big R embroided to its breast, jeans and comfortable-looking boots. Tied to his back was a compound bow, two arrows attached to its side.

She turned to him, her hands at her hips.

“Why don’t you tell me?” she said. “Why was AJ pointing a gun at you?”

“How should we know?” the boy said, shrugging. “He kept yammering on about a man and then he pulled that shit out.”

“A man?”

“Lee!” AJ said angrily. “They won’t tell me where Lee is.”

“What?” Clem said, fear creeping up her spine. Turning to the group of teenagers, her glare focused on the leader. “There was a man with us in that car. Tall, short hair, black. Wears a blue shirt.”

“He was with you guys?” the leader said, frowning.

“Of course, you dumbass,” Clem exclaimed, controlling the urge to roll her eyes. “He was in the same car as us.”

“We thought he was kidnapping you guys or something.”

“So what did you do to him?” she asked, venom in her voice.

The leader shifted uncomfortably on the balls of his feet, shooting a quick glance at another boy with dreads and an overlarge trench coat. He seemed to be weighing his words, yet the ones that came out were most definitely not to Clem’s liking.

“We, uh, left him there.”

“YOU WHAT?” Clem exploded, taking two commanding strides forward until she was inches from the boy. “You left my dad in a wrecked car surrounded by a dozen walkers?”

“He’s your dad…? Oh, we didn’t…” the boy stammered, his expression faltering.

In reality, Lee wasn’t her father, nor was he AJ’s, but she had come to see him as a father figure over their eight years together. After all, she had spent nearly as much of her life with Lee as with her real parents. She’d been through thick and thin with Lee, and the thought of him succumbing to such a gruesome death was too much to bear.

“Where’s my stuff?” she said coldly, looking the boy straight in the eye.

“Back in the admin building,” he said, jabbing a thumb behind him. “You’re not going to get him, right?”

“Like hell, I’m not,” she exclaimed, rushing past him and into the building. Luckily for her, her backpack was a short way from the door, leaning against an empty trophy cabinet. She threw it over her shoulder and walked back outside, where AJ seemed to have taken the hint and was getting ready by the gate as well.

“You’re going alone?” one of the boys asked. She looked at him. It was the guy with dreads and the trench coat. His expression was one of compassion, yet Clem’s rage was too hot to pay him much attention. With a simple, “yes,” she dismissed him.

She strode over to AJ, nodding to him like she and Lee always did before doing something dangerous, as if to say, “I’ll have your back and you’ll have mine.” Before they could venture out the gates, a hand gripped her wrist, locking her in place.

“Let me go,” she cursed, pulling hard. It was the third boy, with short brown hair and the beginnings of a beard on his chin.

“We’ll go with you,” he said, nodding. “Louis and I will take you there. You guys have no idea where the station is from here, right? We do.”

“I… no, I guess not,” she conceded, slumping her shoulders as his grip loosened.

“Don’t worry,” the boy named Louis said, taking hold of his coat flaps in what he must have assumed was a comical sight. “We’ll help you get your dad back, it’s the least we can do.”

“You guys can’t be serious,” the leader said, his expression shifting from defiance to something Clem could only attribute to fear. “That’s way outside the safe zone. We got lucky once, we won’t –”

“Marlon, just shut up,” the boy with the patchy beard said, rolling his eyes and taking a bow from a rack attached to the makeshift watchtower. “We left him there, we can’t leave him.”

“He’s an adult!” Marlon said as if that settled the matter. “We can’t trust him, Aasim.”

“He may be an adult, but she clearly cares about him,” Aasim argued. “We should at least try.”

“I… I don’t…” Marlon stammered, searching for words of defiance that wouldn’t come. “Ugh, alright, but be quick, and be safe. We can’t afford to lose more people.”

“Don’t worry, safe is my middle name,” Louis quipped, grinning at the boy. “Actually, it’s Jacob, but safe sounds much better under the circumstances.”

Clem was getting tired of this pointless banter. For all she knew, Lee was fighting for his life as they spoke, and she was not waiting another second.

“Okay, are we leaving or not?” she asked impatiently, with one foot out the gate.

“Sure thing,” Aasim said, nodding. He walked past her and motioned for Louis, Clem, and AJ to follow.

“Lead the way, I guess,” Clem said, fear replacing impatience. What if they were too late already? _No, Clementine, stop it. _She had to hope against hope that Lee could hold out.

“We’re coming, Lee,” she whispered to herself, closing her eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After waking up in Ericson’s, Clementine must rush to Lee’s aid before it’s too late.

The forest was eerily quiet in the early night. A few crickets made appearances around them, but they went silent when Clem and the rest passed them. Darkness was beginning to fall and the only remaining source of light was the moon shining down on them. Louis and Aasim led the way head of Clem and AJ, who followed diligently.

_Hold on, Lee,_ she thought to herself. By her estimate, they had walked for about forty minutes. The plants around them and the path before them had barely changed, however. Even as they moved, she was getting restless. Did these kids even know where they were going?

“You guys sure we’re on the right track?” Clem asked hesitantly, hoping she didn’t sound rude. The last thing she needed was for Aasim and Louis to get offended and leave them in the middle of the woods.

“Yeah,” Aasim said over his shoulder. “The train station you guys were in is about two hours away, outside our safe zone.”

“Two hours?” Clem exclaimed, picking up her pace to be on par with Aasim. AJ followed close behind, fidgeting with his revolver in his hands. “We still have one hour to go?”

Louis looked to his right, giving Clem an apologetic sort of look. She noticed his forehead crease as he frowned, and the way his dimples deepened as he gave her a sad smile.

“Don’t worry,” he said, “I’m sure your old man can take care of himself pretty good.”

“Hope so…” Clem said, trailing off. She hung back, choosing solitude over walking beside their guides.

As thankful as she was to them for offering their help, it had been their own fault they were in this mess in the first place. What had Marlon meant with “He’s an adult.”? Had they seen Lee and purposely left him to the walkers? _No, Lee’s a survivor, he can handle himself._

They kept a steady pace through the trailing path. Most of it was marked by months, if not years of people walking it. At some point, however, the ground became as treacherous as the rest of the forest, and they were left with nothing but their wits to figure out the way.

“Should be a few more miles north,” Aasim commented, pointing slightly to their left.

“How do you know where north is?” AJ asked from beside Clem.

“I look at the stars,” he said, gesturing to the star-strewn sky. Indeed, a million dots of shining balls of light illuminated the sky. Some, Clem noticed, were brighter than others, yet she had never learned to read the skies as she knew sailors had once done. Mostly, she trusted her gut to tell her where to go. It had not failed her yet.

“See that bright one over there?” Aasim said, pointing to a particularly fiery-looking star almost directly above them. “That’s the North Star, which means north is that way.”

“That’s so cool,” AJ said, gazing up at the sky in wonderment. “How come you never taught me that?” he asked Clem, raising an eyebrow.

She shrugged, choosing the truth. “I didn’t know that either,” she said.

“Huh.”

“I learned about it a couple years ago,” Aasim said, eager to talk about anything to get Lee’s possible fate out of Clem’s mind. “Our school has a library chock full of books on all sorts of stuff.”

“Aasim here is a bit of nerd,” Louis translated. AJ chuckled and Clem had to suppress a grin.

“Shut up,” Aasim said, rolling his eyes. “Just because all you read about is musical theory doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t want to learn some new skills.”

“Musical ability is not something you can learn,” Louis said in a dignified, yet playful manner. “You’re born with it.”

“Whatever.”

“You play an instrument?” Clem said, thankful for Aasim’s attempt to veer the conversation away from heavier topics.

“The piano,” he said joyfully. “We got one in the admin building; right next to that place the little dude was gonna gun us down.”

“I’m sorry about that,” AJ said, scratching the back of his head.

“No need to apologize, little man,” Louis assured him, shaking his head. “If I were you, I probably would have done the same.”

Clem found it hard not to notice the small mannerisms Louis had when presenting himself. It was so unlike anyone she’d ever met, yet intriguing nonetheless. His eyes were almost constantly aglow, dark brown like AJ’s. He used his hands a lot, waving them around every which way so as to express himself more visually. It really was an interesting sight, Clem thought.

“What’s a piano?” AJ asked.

Louis feigned hurt, clutching his heart. “I’m wounded that you’d ask that,” he said dramatically.

“Sorry?” AJ said hesitantly, tilting his head.

“It’s an instrument,” Louis explained. “You have keys, and you press them to make music.”

“Huh, music,” AJ mused to himself.

In truth, Clem hadn’t really gone into detail about music to AJ. She didn’t think it was that important right now when surviving was the only thing on her mind. Lee had told them about a few bands he had listened to in his youth, but neither Clem nor AJ could relate to him, so they learned to tune it out after a while.

They fell silent after that. Around them, the scuttling of animals was the only sound they could hear. An owl hooted and flew off somewhere to Clem’s right, and the rustle of the leaves sounded eerie in the dead in night. Dry autumn leaves crunched under their boots, much too loud for Clem’s liking.

For another hour they walked, heavy thoughts weighing on Clem’s mind. Unable to will them away, she shut her eyes and shook her head. He had to be okay, he just had to. She shared a look with AJ, who walked on her left, and gave him a sad smile.

Before she could ask how much longer they had, Aasim raised his hand and halted to a stop. The rest followed suit, hunching slightly as if poised for attack. Clem looked around, searching for the train cars or any trace of their car. She saw a glint of rusted silver somewhere to their right.

“The car, was it totaled?” she asked Aasim, who nodded.

“Yeah.”

“Damn it.”

Aasim sneaked forward through a thicket of bushes, which opened up into a small clearing beside one of the trains. They hid behind a rock, surveying the area.

Dozens of walkers roamed the hallway that led to the station. Their moans and groans created a cacophony of sounds that made Clementine shiver, even though it was rather warm tonight. On the road leading away from the train cars, she saw tire tracks, skidding around until they disappeared behind a bend in the road.

“Where could he be?” Clem asked, unable to contain the fear in her voice. “I don’t see any trace of him.”

“If he’s smart, he’s probably holed up in that station,” Aasim said, pointing. “I doubt the walkers can get through that door, but I can’t say the same for the windows.”

“Thanks for that helpful commentary, Aasim,” Louis said, stepping forward. “Look, we just gotta get through the smelly patrol here and we’re golden.”

“Any idea on how to do that?” Aasim said, clearly irritated.

“Let me check it out,” Clem interjected. She feared more bickering would accomplish nothing, so she had to step in.

She raised herself a bit so as to see the area better. The walkers seemed to have no defined pattern, moving aimlessly around, sometimes hitting the fence and choosing a different path. She noticed some of them seemed to push other walkers around as if annoyed they were moving so slowly. _That’s odd, _she thought. She’d never seen walkers behave this way.

On the fence was the sign and bell she and Lee had seen before going in, a small string attached to it. _Could be useful, _she thought, taking a mental note of it. The train car on the left seemed to be tilted to the side, low enough to climb yet not so low that walkers could easily swarm it. _Promising._

Formulating a plan, she turned back to the others. AJ listened avidly, kneeling like he always did, with his gun in his right hand. She relayed the plan to Aasim and Louis, both of whom cringed when she suggested attracting the walkers to one of them. Once she was done, she waited for a response.

“That’s all?” Louis said hesitantly, likely afraid that Clem would say no. “Doesn’t sound so bad.”

“You going up there, then?” Aasim said almost instantly, gripping his bow tightly. “You’re already pretty distracting even without a bell in your hands.”

“No way, José,” Louis said, shaking his head. “What about you, with that bow of yours?”

“You can do it, Louis,” Clem said, willing herself not to smile. “Let’s see those moves in action.”

Louis sighed, looking over Clem’s shoulder over to the swarm of walkers. “I can’t say no to a face like that,” he said finally, winking. A rather unfamiliar heat rose to Clem’s cheeks, and she averted her eyes. Aasim, on the other hand, rolled his eyes so far that they almost seemed to leave his skull.

And so, Louis and the rest approached the fence, being careful to make as little noise as they could. Louis untied the bell from the post and made sure to have it close to his chest, lest he put the plan in motion too early. He looked up to the train car. The moon shone over it, as though pointing him in the direction of his target.

“Okay, repeat the plan,” Louis said, turning to Clem.

“Climb the car, ring the bell as loud as you can, and wait for us to cross,” Clem said. “Once we’re inside, you’ll be able to keep watch from there.”

“Climb, ring, wait, watch,” Louis repeated, nodding. “Got it.”

“Good luck, man,” Aasim said, patting the dreaded boy’s shoulder.

“Thanks.” And with that, Louis disappeared behind the train car.

Clem, Aasim, and AJ waited expectantly. The walkers kept up their moaning, searching for more prey. A few moments later, they heard a loud bang as Louis rung the bell, hitting it both with a rock and against the top of the car. Most of the corpses turned their attention to him, reaching up for him. They crowded around the train car, banging on the side. This brought more of them to their aid.

Clem saw the window and made a break for it, sneaking past them as fast as she possibly could. One of the monsters seemed to have gotten stuck under the train car on the right and she took care of it with ease. Aasim and AJ followed her behind a pair of barrels. She raised her arm and signaled to Louis, who seemed to have understood because the banging stopped almost immediately.

They waited with bated breath, Clem’s heart pounding hard. _What the hell is he waiting for?_ Through the slits that were her eyes, she saw a few walkers start to turn around, their object of interest long gone.

“Come on, Louis,” she heard Aasim whisper under his breath. His eyes were closed as well.

Before Clem had lost all hope, a sudden ringing caught the walkers’ attention away from them, and they allowed themselves to breathe deeply. As the undead made their way deeper into the front yard of the station, Clem, Aasim, and AJ sneaked past yet another straggling walker, stabbed it, and rushed to the door.

She turned the knob slowly, her heart in her throat. It creaked softly as it opened, revealing the interior of the station. It was much like she’d last seen it, though a large amount of dust had been blown from its surfaces. Small slivers of moonlight seeped through the boarded-up windows, revealing dust particles floating around the walker couple still tied to the chairs.

Clem took a tentative step forward, afraid of what she might find. It seemed the room was empty aside from them, which felt both promising and ominous to her.

“I’ll guard the door,” Aasim said, peering through the gap between the door and the frame. “Check that room over there.”

He was pointing to the ticket booth Clem and AJ had found the supplies in; and which had caused this whole mess in the first place. She gestured for AJ to follow her, taking her knife from her back pocket. She brandished it in front of her. The large grey door was ajar, and inside was-

“Lee!” AJ exclaimed, rushing to the man. AJ threw his arms around Lee, gripping him tightly. Lee was lying against the crib, clutching his side with his other hand. His shirt was dripping with sweat and his pants had an alarming amount of blood soaking them.

“Hey, little man,” Lee said, his voice much too weak. “Sweet pea, you came back.”

“Of course we did,” she said, as though the thought of doing anything else would be crazy. “Now, are you hurt?”

Lee looked down at his leg. Blood was still oozing slowly from a wound.

“Hurt my leg pretty bad in that crash,” he said, pursing his lips. “Had to drag myself up here.”

Clem cringed as she looked at it, shaking her head. “Aasim will help you walk, try to get up.”

Lee looked up at her and the expression he held chilled Clem to her very soul. Unlike his usual smile or his fatherly frown, this face was one of defeat. It conveyed to Clem thoughts and emotions she didn’t think could be reconciled. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, he shook his head.

“You guys should get out of here,” he said, almost in a whisper. AJ stood to his side, confused. Clem kneeled beside her father, in all ways but one, and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“What are you talking about, Lee?” she asked, much more alarmed than she wished she was letting on.

“This is it for me here,” he said, sighing. “End of the road.”

“Lee…” Clem said, almost warningly. “Don’t play jokes on me; I hate it when you do that!”

“It’s not a joke, Clem,” he said, shaking his head.

Taking a deep breath, he leaned forward, with more effort than Clem thought he would have needed. With one hand, he pulled the cuff of his pants, revealing his bare calf. Beneath all the blood, Clem could clearly see the outline of teeth marks on flesh, a dark liquid oozing onto the floor.

The world came crumbling around Clementine, with no sign of stopping any time soon. She refused to believe her eyes, as damning as the evidence in front of them was. She had fought for Lee and AJ for far too long for her luck to have run out. _No, it must be a trick of the light. _But what light, though? Barely any moonlight reached them in here. _Still, something is off._

“What…?” AJ said, his eyes widening as he took a step back. “No.”

“Yes, AJ,” said Lee sadly, looking down. “I’m sorry.”

Clem still couldn’t speak, stunned into silence. She kept looking at the bite on Lee’s leg, blinking rapidly. Her heart seemed to have taken the hint and started beating faster. Faster and faster it beat until she feared it would burst through her chest and onto Lee’s lap. Somehow, after this gruesome image, she found her voice again.

“No,” she finally managed to say. “No, no, no, no! You can’t be bit, you just can’t be.”

“But I am, sweet pea,” he said, taking her hand in his. She pulled away, tears welling in her eyes. They stung her, but she did no effort to dab at them. “I’m sorry I wasn’t fast enough.”

“Lee…” she croaked, trying to make sense of the jumble that was her thoughts. “You… you can’t do this to me.”

“You’ll be okay, Clementine,” he said, offering her a weak smile. “You’re strong. You both are.”

“I need you, Lee,” she said desperately. Her lower lip quivered as she mustered the courage not to launch herself over him. AJ seemed to have lost his voice, choosing instead to stare at the bite while he listened to them. “AJ and I need you. We’re a team, remember?”

“I know, I know, Clem.” Lee sighed, struggling to breathe as a fit of coughs took over him. “You’ll have to make do without me from now on.”

“We can cut it off!” she exclaimed, almost joyfully. “It’ll be just like that guy Reggie, right? Aasim and Louis can carry you out of here. It’ll be alright!”

Lee pursed his lips, looking up into Clem’s fiery gold eyes. The same eyes that had looked at him in fear and admiration and love and hatred and countless other emotions, now swelling with tears. Clem could almost hear Lee’s heartbeat, slowly dwindling as his final breath drew nearer. They had talked about this moment countless times, yet to actually be in it didn’t make it any easier to bear.

“It’s too late for that, honey,” he told her wisely, shaking his head. “It’s been hours, and I lost a bunch of blood already.”

“No, no, no, we can still fix this, Lee!” she said angrily, fumbling with the cuff of his pants and lifting it so his entire lower leg was visible now. Still more blood flowed from the wound, making Clem cringe once more.

“Clem,” Lee said, cutting her off. He knew how passionate she could get when he let her, but they had no time. “You know what to do.”

“NO!” she said, much too loudly. A few groans came from outside, but they seemed to be in the clear. Aasim had apparently stationed himself outside the door, guarding the building with his bow. “I… I can’t do it, Lee. Please don’t make me…”

“I understand,” he said, shaking his head. “No kid should have to do this sort of thing.”

Clem had stopped trying to hold back and was now sobbing, her tears falling freely onto the dusty floor, darkening the hardwood beneath the layer of dirt.

“Leave me,” she heard Lee whisper, and she willed herself to look up, unable and unwilling to believe her ears.

“What?” she whispered back, leaning in as if to catch it more clearly.

“Just go and leave me here,” he said, closing his eyes. “No need to waste ammo on me.”

“I can’t just… leave you to turn,” Clem said, still horrified by the alternative. “Not after everything we’ve seen; everything we’ve been through.”

“You are definitely the kindest soul I ever met,” Lee said fondly, lifting his arm as if to touch her cheek, yet lacking the strength to reach higher than her shoulder. “Too kind, even after the world went to shit.”

“Swear,” they heard AJ whisper, his voice as tiny as he was. Despite herself, Clem managed a laugh.

“There’s the sweet pea I know and love,” Lee said, smiling.

AJ reached over Lee and handed Clem his revolver, handle first. She took it shakily in her hands, feeling the weight that could only mean one thing: it was loaded. She looked from it to Lee, whose eyes, now yellowing, were glued to the weapon.

“You don’t have to watch this, AJ,” she said slowly, looking up at the boy. AJ seemed ready to argue, but Lee’s face said it all. Clem was right.

With a final hug for his father figure, AJ dragged himself out of the room and into the adjoining one, silently waiting by the door. Clem was left alone with Lee in the ticket booth, holding the revolver with shaky hands.

“You’re so strong, Clementine,” Lee said encouragingly. “Stronger than I ever was.”

“Not strong enough,” she said softly. Her hand coiled around the handle. “I couldn’t save you fast enough.”

“There’s nothing you could have done,” Lee said. Though his words were meant to be reassuring, they felt like poison to Clementine. _If only I’d gotten here sooner… If only they hadn’t left you out here…_

“I’m… I’m really gonna miss you, Lee,” she sobbed, closing her eyes and willing the tears to remain at bay. So far, she was not succeeding.

“I’ll miss you too, sweet pea.”

Clem stood up, her eyes glued to her friend and protector; the one who had given everything for her and AJ. She wanted to say something, anything, to express how thankful she was, for everything. But the words wouldn’t come. Her mind still ran a thousand miles a second, trying to make sense of it all, yet her hands knew what must be done.

She raised the revolver slowly, reveling in the final few seconds she would be able to share with Lee in life. Memories of their journey together flooded her mind, as though her brain was reminding her just how important this man had become to her. _No need to remind me, _she thought to herself, _I remember just fine._

As her finger touched the cold trigger, Lee’s eyes closed and he let a shaky breath escape him. She pulled it sharply, just like he’d taught her on that train all those years ago, and Lee was gone.

At last, she thought, he’d be able to join Kenny and his family, while Clem carried on without him, ready to pick up the pieces of her broken heart.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their venture into the train station, Clem’s mind is troubled and her path is unclear. One person could be what it takes to help her grieve.

She didn’t know how long they’d been walking, only that the path ahead was clear. Nothing around her made a noise, or at least she didn’t hear anything. The full moon still shone over them, majestic as always, mocking her from the clear sky above. Her thoughts, however, were clouded as could be.

Numb was a good word she thought described her current feelings, thought what _did_ she know? Her teacher, her father, her mentor was… gone. It stung to even think the words, yet the truth behind them was ever-present. Lee was dead.

She clambered over a fallen tree, way ahead of the other three. She thought of AJ and what he might be thinking right about now. Of course, he must be devastated, but she couldn’t muster the courage to offer comfort when she was an inch away from collapsing herself. A brief look over her shoulder told her he was walking beside Louis, his eyes downcast and his hand rubbing the side of his right arm.

Before she turned back, she spotted Louis looking at her. His comforting smile was genuine, yet his eyes betrayed his intentions. They showed something Clem hadn’t seen in anyone’s eyes in a long time: remorse. She was about to return the smile when thoughts of the school kids leaving Lee to die in that station rose to the front of her mind, and she thought better of it.

“We’re almost there,” Aasim’s voice came from behind her. It was a weak and tired voice, unlike the commanding one he’d adopted before their venture. “Just a few miles up ahead.”

To her greatest relief, they spent those miles in silence, leaving Clementine alone with her thoughts. _Thought was a better way of putting it, _she mused to herself, as there was really only one thing rushing through her mind at the moment. Lee’s yellowing eyes, the blood dripping from his wounded leg, the last breath he’d taken before Clem had pulled the trigger.

She closed her eyes, shaking her head. She had to be strong for AJ. But how could she? How could she be strong when all she’d done up to this point is be strong? Her body ached for rest, yet her mind wouldn’t stop. Would it ever stop now, though?

Finally, they were within yards of the school walls. They loomed over them, large and dark against the starry backdrop of the sky. Aasim waved to a boy at the top of a makeshift watchtower and the boy nodded. He stepped down behind the wall and quickly began pulling the doors inward, letting them pass.

She noticed the boy was about to say something, but Aasim wisely cut him off, shaking his head. She was thankful for that, of course, but she could not bring herself to say it. Even before they got to the middle of the courtyard, the leader named Marlon burst through the admin building doors. A girl with fiery red hair was trailing behind him, clearly apprehensive.

“You guys made it!” he said by way of introduction, clapping Louis on the shoulder. He didn’t seem to have noticed the grim faces they wore, because he continued, “I was getting worried. How’d it go–”

Without hesitation, and admittedly without prompting, Clementine’s fist came barreling into Marlon’s face, hitting him square in the nose. Clem heard the distinctive sound of bone breaking and now stood over Marlon’s whimpering form. The girl with red hair glared at Clementine from the sidelines, but she seemed to think better than to intervene.

“You. Massive. Asshole!” Clementine yelled, taking a stride forward so she was standing inches from Marlon. “This is all your fucking fault!”

“Ow, what the hell?” Marlon was saying, covering his face as Clem aimed a kick at his arm. “What do you mean?”

“What do I mean?” Clem said indignant, crossing her arms. “Your stupid executive decision to leave my father behind got him fucking killed, is what I mean!”

“Oh my god,” the girl said, covering her mouth with her hand.

More of the kids were starting to trickle in from the dorms, wearing lighter clothes and no boots on their feet. A blonde girl stood beside a tall boy with short straight hair, both their arms crossed in indignation. They did nothing to intervene, however, which Clem found strange. She decided not to comment on it as she kicked his side once more.

“You fucking animal,” she said, her fists shaking. Her eyes were watering, tears trickling down her cheeks in her rage. She hated being this vulnerable, yet her temper could not have been kept in check much longer. “If we had anywhere else to go, and I mean _anywhere_, I’d fucking storm out of here.”

“What do…?”

“But since you got us stranded here in the first place, I’ll go to my room.”

“Wait a minute, you can’t just…” Marlon was cut off again, this time by Louis.

“Dude, just drop it.”

Marlon looked incredulously at his friend as Clementine led AJ back into the dorms.

“You’re kidding me, Lou?” he said.

They kept arguing, but Clem didn’t catch any more of it as they ventured deeper into the hallway. She looked around, thankful for a chance to catch her breath. Carved on the walls were dozens, if not hundreds of messages, most of which were vulgar or obscene. AJ led her through the door she had jimmied open just hours before and closed it behind them.

She tucked AJ in, doing her best to keep a passive face. She could tell his mind was brimming with questions Clem didn’t know the answer to, but to her relief, he didn’t voice them. As AJ lay back and tried closing his eyes, sleep probably at the bottom of his priorities, they didn’t even recite the lines they said to each other every night before bed.

_Goodnight, sleep tight._

_Don’t let a walker bite._

_And if it tries?_

_Bang…_

Depositing her hat on the bedside table, she lay on her bed. The same bed she’d been tied to after the crash. Exhaustion threatened to knock her out completely, but she wouldn’t let sleep consume her, because if she did, she knew what she’d find. Even awake, the sound of the gunshot still rang in her ears; deafening, deathly.

For eight years, Lee had been the closest thing to a father she could have hoped for. She thought of her mom and dad every now and then, yet somehow they’d never had as much of an impact as Lee had on her. Memories of them taking her to the park or to the movies seemed a lifetime away, while Lee’s presence still lingered close to her heart, unable or unwilling to let go.

Her eyes traveled over the room to the boy lying on the other bunk bed, already fast asleep. A thin sliver of moonlight penetrated the boarded-up window and bathed AJ in a pearly white sheen, making it seem as though he were glowing. His hair and clothes were still matted with grime and some blood, and his face was covered in dirt. Other than that, however, he looked peaceful.

She wondered if she’d ever looked like that; as though nothing could ever faze her. The world had gone to hell in a blink, and any semblance of innocence she kept clinging to seemed to have vanished with it. In spite of herself, her eyelids were drooping, and she could do nothing as darkness consumed her and sleep finally came.

The following day, the morning sun woke Clem up unceremoniously. She checked a clock that somehow seemed to be running and saw that it was midday. She had a vague memory of having spoken to AJ, yet she could not recall the content of their conversation. The bed on the other side was empty, as was the rest of the room.

_AJ must have let me sleep in, _she thought to herself, thankful. She tried raising her head to survey her surroundings, but a hard pounding knocked her back onto the hard mattress. She clutched her forehead with her right hand, groaning as a stab of pain shot through her head. Her eyes shut tight, she sighed and laid back.

She looked up at the bottom of the top bed, examining its moldy surface. It had a few holes here and there, but it was otherwise sturdy enough. She was about to comment on them to Lee when the events of the previous days flashed before her eyes. The hard truth seemed to settle like a thick blanket around her, smothering her.

To her relief, AJ had decided to stay outside with Louis and the rest, doing whatever it was that people did when they hadn’t just suffered the way she had. She understood him, and yearned to be in his position; to be too young to process such an event and for it to blow past you as just another hardship in an already hard world. Sadly, she could not do such a thing.

She lay in her bed all afternoon and well into the night. At one point, AJ knocked and let himself in, offering her to join him and the others for dinner: rabbit stew. When she declined, he frowned and tilted his head.

“You sure?” he said inquiringly. “It’s warm and smells awesome.”

“I said no, AJ,” she said simply. She didn’t want to sound so harsh, but she could barely control herself. “I’m not hungry.”

Puzzled, AJ nodded and muttered something under his breath. Without another word, he exited the room and left Clem alone once again. She knew it wasn’t AJ’s fault, but she wasn’t about to break bread with the people responsible for Lee’s death. She was sure of it. Concentrating on her hatred of Marlon, her eyes shut tight, she soon drifted off to sleep. Darkness consumed her for a moment before a blinding light made itself present. She shielded her eyes until they were accustomed to her new environment.

She was back at the motor inn she and Lee had stayed in when it all started. To her right, Duck was using light blue chalk to draw on the floor. She looked around. A late afternoon sun shone over the group of adults milling about their business.

Kenny and Katjaa were helping Ben drag a couch from the entrance to a weak part of the wall. Larry and Lilly argued about something or other off in the corner. Carley sat by herself on a chair beside the broken-down RV, reading an old battered book.

“Something on your mind, sweet pea?” a deep voice said from behind her. It was all she could do not to squeal, but she managed to turn around with mild surprise on her face.

“Lee?” she asked incredulously. “What…?”

“Yeah?” Lee said, kneeling next to her. He ruffled Duck’s hair and said, “Duck, wanna give us some time?”

“Okay,” Duck said, shrugging. He bounded off to his parents, asking if he could help. With some apprehension, Kenny nodded and let him grab hold of the edge of the couch.

Clem was looking at the exchange in silent awe. Something didn’t seem right about it, yet she couldn’t place her finger on it. Dismissing it, she tilted her head. “What… happened?” she asked.

Lee looked surprised. “What do you mean?” he said. “Nothing happened. Not recently, anyway.”

She frowned, looking down at her hands. They were white with chalk, but something else was wrong. They were much too small, and not as calloused as she was used to. She used them to touch her hair, and almost gasped when she felt the two pigtails bound together by Lilly’s hair ties. She looked around again.

They all looked rather cheerful, she noticed. Even Larry couldn’t help but chuckle as Lilly told him what Clem assumed must have been a crude and perhaps even racist comment. Someone was missing, however…

“AJ!” she exclaimed, sitting up. Her little boy was nowhere to be found, and no one seemed inclined to look for him.

Lee didn’t respond, but Clem caught the pain in his face as he looked away. “Lee?” she asked once again, uncertain. “Where… where am I?”

“I think you know, Clem,” Lee said slowly, a sad look on his face. Around her, all noise seemed to have disappeared. Upon closer inspection, she realized the rest of the group had vanished, leaving the two of them alone in the motor inn. A cold breeze was picking up from outside, making the sheets of metal on the walls wobble.

“I’m… dreaming, aren’t I?” she said quietly, frowning.

“Afraid so,” Lee said, sitting down on a white lawn chair. It was then that Clementine realized how old Lee looked. He had bags under his eyes and a few white hairs had started to appear on his head and beard. He sighed deeply.

“So that means… you’re dead,” she concluded solemnly. He didn’t answer. He didn’t have to.

They sat silently for a while, much like they’d done countless times over their eight years together. They would just sit in the back of a car or in a room in an abandoned house and enjoy each other’s company. Only now their enjoyment was dampened by the harsh reality of the situation. How could she go on knowing she would never experience one of those silent moments again?

It was not knowing the answer that killed her. The uncertainty of her path became clearer and clearer and a jumble of thoughts threatened to split her head open, fighting for dominance as she struggled to keep them at bay. Emptiness. It was all she could describe the feeling as. A hollow space where her heart had been.

“How could you leave me?” she whispered.

“Sorry?”

“I don’t know what to do without you, Lee,” she said, louder this time. “All this time, it’s been the three of us, and now you’re gone and I feel so alone and I just…”

“I know, Clem,” Lee said sadly. His face fell. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I wish there was something I could say.”

In fact, there was nothing she could think of that would make it better. No matter how hard she tried, her inability to come up with something comforting to tell herself was exactly the thing that prevented Lee from saying the words she so desired to hear, yet couldn’t fathom. After all, Lee wasn’t real. Not anymore, at least.

She turned to the man but when she did, he was suddenly gone. A soft breeze blew past her as she looked around in search of him. It only took a quick search of the inn to realize it. She was completely alone.

-

For the next few days, her routine was fixed. She talked only to AJ, who eventually gave up on asking her to join them and just decided to bring her food. As much as she hated to admit it, the stew was pretty good. Her appetite, however, was tainted. She sent back more bowls and plates than she took, and the kids had already started to notice she barely touched the ones she did take.

She didn’t care about them, though. Deep down, she was thankful they hadn’t yet thrown her and AJ out, but she was having a really hard time coming to terms with saying the words. The motor inn dream had come back twice already, yet she was no closer to coming up with the words she wanted Lee to say. Maybe she just wanted him to say… anything. Anything that would prove the world wrong and let her know he hadn’t left her.

Sometime in the afternoon of the fourth day, however, something happened that disrupted her routine. Around six o’clock according to the clock on the bedside table, a knock came from outside. It was a different knock than the usual three taps AJ used. This one was a fast rapping in a rhythmic fashion, possibly a tune she had heard in her childhood.

She had half a mind to lay back and let whoever was on the other side just wait, but the fight had gone out of her. _What’s the point anyways? _she reasoned. She let out a grunt of admittance and sat up slightly, enough to see who came in seconds later.

Louis, the dreaded boy with the overlarge trench coat, was standing at the threshold, holding a tray containing a bowl and a glass of questionable-looking water. He wore a soft expression, his brows slightly raised. Without a word, she nodded toward the desk. The boy heeded her command and set the tray down with barely a sound. They stayed silent for a while, reeling in the awkwardness of the situation.

“Thanks.”

She didn’t know why she’d said it. Her mind still knew who was in the wrong here, yet she couldn’t stop herself. Something about his expression, or perhaps his posture, had somehow made the word slip out.

Louis gave her a wan smile and nodded. “You’re welcome,” he said in a low voice, matching Clem’s tone. In reality, she spoke quietly because her throat was sore from barely speaking in days, but it didn’t matter now, so she didn’t bring it up.

Clem thought he would have gone away by now, but the boy stayed steadfastly rooted to the spot, playing with the hem of his trench coat, stroking the fur lining slowly. His eyes, a deep brown with flecks of black, glided around the room. Most of it was shrouded in shadow, but the few specks of light that still shone through the windows crept silkily through the boards, casting elongated rays of waning sunlight on the floor.

“Love what you’ve done with the place,” he said suddenly, nodding approvingly.

She followed his gaze, confused. “I haven’t moved anything,” she said.

“I know,” he said, shrugging, “but it still feels like a brand new room, y’know?”

In fact, she didn’t know, but she wasn’t about to contradict him, so she chose to stay quiet. She waited patiently for him to announce his departure, probably in some flamboyant manner, but it never came. Instead, he grabbed the back of the desk chair. He dragged it a few feet in her direction and spun it around, sitting down so his chest was pressed against the back of it.

“This was Sophie and Minnie’s room,” he said, matter-of-factly. “Twin sisters, we lost them about a year ago.”

Again, she was at a loss for words. Was he always this conversational, or was he just taking pity in her? Either way irked her, yet she made no attempt to kick him out. This was his school, after all.

His voice broke through her thoughts once more, as if the mere thought of remaining in silence was unbearable for him.

“Are you okay, Clementine?” he asked softly.

“Yeah, just peachy,” she snapped, harsher than she meant to. She saw Louis cringe and shake his head.

“Sorry, shouldn’t have asked,” he said. For a moment, he looked as though he were about to say something, but he thought better of it. He stood up slowly, his eyes downcast. He walked towards the door, but Clem’s voice cut through the room before he could turn the knob.

“Wait,” she said, uncertain on what to say next.

And so he waited, rooted to the spot as if in trance. His head turned slowly to her and he raised an eyebrow.

“Do you mind, uh, staying for a bit?” she asked. She didn’t know why she was asking him to join her, but something inside her told her it was fine.

“Of course,” he said, almost at once. He walked back and resumed his spot on the chair, gauging her expression.

“You mentioned those twins,” she said slowly, trying to string together words that could encapsulate what was going through her mind. “Sophie and Minnie.”

“Yeah.”

“You said it so casually, like they just went away to another school.” She was trying to hard not to sound rude, but her brain was betraying her. Fortunately, Louis didn’t take any offense.

“Well, yeah,” he said, shrugging. “I do miss them a lot, but it’s something we’re used to at this point. After a while, you learn to accept it, I guess.”

“Have you lost many more?” Clem asked, suddenly afraid of the answer.

“Yes,” he said simply. “Many… many more.”

She frowned. Maybe this conversation _was _going somewhere. She tried to tread lightly; afraid he would deem her questions too personal and storm off. To her surprise, he kept the same soft smile on his face, as though none of this were affecting him. She noticed that his dreads bobbed slightly whenever he moved his head, framing his face quite nicely.

“How do you do it?” she said finally, looking down at her hands. “How do you go on after something like that happens?”

“You just… do,” Louis said, apparently just as clueless about what to say as Clem was. “No matter what, you keep finding something to fight for.”

Clem still couldn’t meet his gaze, choosing instead to become quite interested in the carved patterns on the floorboards beneath his chair. He slumped down on the back of it, resting his chin on his arms and sighing.

“I take it you were really close with your dad,” he said slowly as if testing the waters. Once again, that urge to explode and kick him out bubbled up to the surface, but it was quickly stifled. _No more pretending, _she told herself.

“Yeah, we were,” she said. “He wasn’t actually my dad, really, but I came to see him as one. He was the one who took care of me when this whole thing started.”

“I bet he was a great man,” Louis said, nodding. “I’m… I’m sorry, Clementine.”

“Thanks,” she said again, not knowing what else to say. What do you say when someone offers their sympathy? “Um, what about you?”

“Me?”

“Have you ever lost someone close?” she asked. She didn’t know if the question was too blunt, but at this point, she didn’t care. Her mind was grasping at straws to stay afloat, fighting to survive, as she had done with Lee half her life.

“I have, actually,” he said. “My little sister, Erica.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said quickly, regretting her previous thought instantly. “I shouldn’t have–.”

“It’s okay,” he said, offering her a reassuring smile.

She saw him straighten up in the chair and take a deep breath, his chest rising and falling slowly as he did. The rickety chair creaked as he leaned forward in search of a more comfortable position, and still, Clem stared. It was hard not to, she realized. Watching his expression switch from sadness to feigned cheerfulness was interesting, as though his real self was trying to break through his persona.

“It was around five or six years ago,” he began. “We were trying to get into a part of the school we hadn’t explored in years. For some reason, the adults had blocked it off as soon as all hell broke loose. We know why now, I guess. Marlon sent me and Aasim out to check it out, but Erica was begging to come with us. She was four years younger than me. ‘Please, Lou, please. I’ll be good,’ she’d say, her eyes filled with tears.”

“After a while, I gave up on trying to convince her to stay and told Marlon not to worry. We took her with us, and she clung to my arm all the way there. The place used to be a sort of chapel for the school. We never really used it, even before the walkers came. Luckily, the main auditorium seemed empty, so we just checked it out in search of any supplies we could have needed at the time. There were many more of us then.”

Clem listened to Louis with rapt attention, to the point where she didn’t notice herself leaning in and blinking very slowly, as if to take in every second of his gestures and expressions. She studied them as he spoke; his eyes downcast, almost closed, his brow creased, and his trademark smile nonexistent.

“After like ten minutes of searching, Erica called out to me and Aasim, saying she’d found something. It was a side door to the main office, but it was blocked from the other side. We could see through a small little window that the place looked deserted, so we tried to get in. It wouldn’t budge. After a few tries, Erica offered to crawl through an open window over the door. Neither me nor Aasim could fit.”

His voice broke then, and he closed his eyes. Clem gave him time to compose himself, looking on in awe. He made an effort to clear his throat and nod at her. She blinked, and he offered her a small smile.

“I didn’t think much of it and we boosted her in. She was there for barely ten seconds when I heard them…” he trailed off, looking somewhere far off. “By the time Aasim and I managed to bust our way in, it was too late. One of the fuckers had a grip on her ankle and another had bitten into her calf.”

“Louis, I’m…” Clem could barely find words. Here she was, moping about her loss when the other kids had lost just as much, if not more than her. And here Louis was, retelling this terrible tale to her, letting it all out. She felt as though she wasn’t deserving of hearing the rest, but she chose not to mention it.

“I’m so sorry, Louis.”

“It’s okay,” he said, shrugging and slumping his shoulders, very uncharacteristically so. “It was a long time ago. She’s… in a better place, I guess.”

“I want to believe they are,” Clem whispered. Louis nodded gravely. “Louis, I’m sorry.”

“You already said that,” he said, chuckling softly, some of the color returning to his face.

“No, I mean I’m sorry for being a jerk,” she said. “You guys helped me get to him and allowed me to hear Lee’s final words.”

“You don’t have to–”

“Yeah, I do,” she cut in, nodding. “I blamed you guys for his death, even though it was my fucking fault we crashed in the first place. And then I took it out on you, on Marlon especially, even on AJ…” she trailed off. _My god, AJ! _she thought horrified. She had been nothing but distant toward her boy for days while she sulked and moped…

She couldn’t help it. The tears came forth without her command, and the seemed to have taken a mind of their own. Small trickles of salty tears streaked her cheeks, falling to the floor and staining the dust-covered floorboards.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he said, almost leaping forward and sitting beside her on the bed. He put his arm around her and pulled her close. Hiccupping softly, she melted into the embrace, finding a spot in the crook of his neck for her head, sitting comfortably.

Though the tears kept coming, she felt strangely at peace at that moment. The birds outside no longer sounded dull and emotionless, but rather vibrant and beautiful. The dreary state of the unkempt bedroom seemed merely like a dark room now, rather than the suffocating cage it felt like before.

She sniffed rather loudly and dabbed at her nose with her sleeve. Louis’s arms still wrapped around her, she looked up at the boy. His deep brown eyes regarded her with something she’d seen in them before: remorse. He managed a bigger smile for her, and once again she noticed the dimples that formed in the corners of his mouth.

“Louis?” she said suddenly, smiling back.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for coming and talking to me,” she said, looking down at last. “I guess just I needed to hear… someone out, y’know? I’m glad it was you.”

“My pleasure,” he said, nodding. He turned his head slightly and looked at the bowl on the desk, its contents probably much too cold now. “Hey, you wanna join us for dinner tonight? Aasim and I found a bunch of rabbits today so Omar is whipping up a nice stew for all of us. Should be about ready by now.”

She thought about it, looking down at her hands. For all the reasons she could think of not to go, one singular reason in favor trumped all the rest. Louis, a boy who knew next to nothing about her, had relived one of his worst moments so she wouldn’t feel as alone, and for that she was thankful. Her smile returned.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” she said, and together, they walked toward the door, through the threshold, and into the hallway beyond, their stomachs ready for a nice, warm meal.


End file.
